Ministry Objectives, Purpose, and Plan

Synthia Esther Ministry Objectives, Purpose, and Plan

 

By Synthia Esther


I believe it is  God's plan for my life to offer any knowledge I  have gained through diligent  study and personal experience, in order to  widen the worlds perception and  awareness of oppressive harm against  humanity and the animal kingdom.  Christian apologetics brings truth to  light,  empowering people of all faiths, defending Biblical truth  against anything that  opposes it.  


We are all called by God to  show  ourselves approved (2nd Tim. 2:15).  

The purpose of  this ministry is to point the way towards God's  saving grace, healing truth,  peace, serenity, personal  transformation,grace, mercy and love.  I believe we can change the world  one person  at a time.  Jesus Christ  loved us enough  to go all the way to Calvary with humanities sin  redemption plan, the least I  can do is write and tell you about it.    Why?  Truth must prevail and I  cannot deny the facts, stand still and  pontificate what the outcome will be on  our future generations safety  and spiritual condition.



Children across  the world are already paying for our mistakes.    My spirit reverberates with the scriptural reference in Ecclesiastes   7:25, “So I turned my mind to understand, to investigate and to search  out  wisdom and the scheme of things and to understand the stupidity of  wickedness  and the madness of folly.”  I know  humanities soul is  harmed by the spiraling, destructive, cause and effect of  sins  progressive deterioration. 



There are many  people of faith within the world who are prompted  within their spirit to  expound Biblical knowledge and spiritual  awareness of the healing power of  God's  love. They too wish to  somehow, in some small way  make a difference in the world in which we  live. Likewise, I pray my warning is heard and  hearts and lives are  changed toward Jesus Christ, and His eternal and spiritual  free gift of salvation (reference article, “A Free Gift”).  Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death,  but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”.  As it is written in Proverbs 16:3,  “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your  plans will succeed.”


HE WHO WINS SOULS IS WISE 



The main  objective of this ministry is to impact the world by winning souls for Christ   and pointing the way towards eternal significance and personal Holy  Spirit  transformation.  In a dream, God gave me  Proverbs chapter two  as the foundational purpose of my mission and  ministry.  It is a  spiritual journey in  life I refer to as “Sacred Pursuit”.  We  have  dedicated an entire sister website, www.sacredpursuit.org,  that gives testimony of God's amazing grace, mercy, and love. 



2nd  Corinthians 5-20,  “We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as  though God were making His appeal through us.   We implore you on Christ's  behalf: Be reconciled to God." Hebrews 6:10,  “God is not unjust; He  will not forget your  work and the love you have shown Him as you have  helped His people and continue  to help them.” Proverbs 11:30,  “The  fruit of the righteous is a tree of  life, and he who wins souls is  wise.”


I rather not  have relived the egregious memories each time I tried  to convey in written  words my past relationship with Ryan (reference  story; “Foolish Pleasure”-The  Love Story Of A Sex Addict, His Betrayal  And Crime”). Dishonesty, deception and the exploitation  of others  permeated Ryan's life choices.   I would rather have forgotten the tears  of sorrow  I saw in the eyes of the many women I met,  who in support  groups tried to make sense of the sexual addiction and sin that   destroyed their marriages, families and relationships. 


Sexual Human Trafficking also plagues my soul and spirit.  The facts confirm this is a Global major crime problem.   


In America, the NFL Super Bowl hides a dark side in relationship to sexual trafficking.  This high grossing event also produces a high spike in sexual trafficking.  Football and sex - "Boys will be boys" attitudes, help further these crimes. Real Men should be Men, and step up to the platform of change, in order to protect the innocent victims of these crimes.


 YOUNG CHILDREN OFTEN BECOME VICTIMS


I do not like  recalling their stories of remorse and compromise at  times allowing their own  young children, male and female alike, to  become victims of sexual predators  within their own homes.  Some  neighbors,  boyfriends or blood relatives, however many were fathers,  step fathers, or  grandparents who partook of sinful, deviant and  perverse pleasure sexually  using and abusing their own children,  grand-children or step children.  Then there are the animals suffering  and  dying due to being used in sexual acts of bestiality (reference  article,  “Bestiality And Zoophilia”) - www.synthiaestherministries.com.


With out  intervention these abused and wounded children often  times grow up victimizing  others as the perpetual cycle of sexual abuse  continues.  Lost, lonely, abused, addicted, abandoned and  bitter, many  become part of our future generation of prostitutes, pimps and  porn  stars. Ephesians  4-18-19, “They are darkened in their understanding   and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in  them due  to the hardening of their hearts.   (19)  Having lost all  sensitivity,  they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to  indulge in every kind of  impurity, with a continual lust for more.”  


I  find it ironic that some of the same psychological processes that  cause  a person to promote and produce pornography and/or commit sexual  crimes,  is identical to the sex addictive person who is compulsively  attracted to  purchasing it.  Both view humanity  through the eyes of  sexual objectification.



ADDICTION IS A  MASK HIDING DEEPER REPRESSED PAIN



Such is the  perpetual cycle of sin's destruction.  It  grieves my  spirit to recall Ryan's personal words of agony as he attempted to  rid  himself of his sexual obsessions in an 12-step prescribed 90 day sexual   fast, "If you had what was going on in my mind and body, you would kill   yourself!  I am fighting giants like  Goliath daily!"  I saw tears in  his  eyes on many occasions only to be suddenly replaced with venomous  words of  vindictive anger.  Tears I once thought  were signs of remorse  I now know were tears of personal pain and sorrow for the  tragedy of  recalled childhood memories, abuse and the mourning of personal   losses.  Addiction is but a mask hiding  deeper emotional repressed  sorrow, pain and fear.


My heart grieves  for the lost souls who are in the addictive cycle of  shame and blame.  Ryan's narcissistic-addiction induced alter   personality could not comprehend the enormous harm his actions inflicted  upon  others nor the dissonance it created.   I am not only talking of  myself and dealing  with his deceptive double life but pornography and  its crime add to the  increase of  pedophilia, bestiality,  sexual human  trafficking, prostitution, sexually transmitted disease, unwanted   pregnancies and abortion, rape, abduction, murder, and the list of crime  goes  on and on.


Other addictions  such as  drugs, alcohol, Robo, Triple  C  and Rx  tripping, cutting and  self-mutilation, food and eating disorders,  gambling, gaming, work, power,  control technology snares.... and the list of addiction's goes  on and on... harms humanities overall  health, integrity and spiritual  growth.  



 Addiction also destroys the people who indulge in the false  belief that  their obsessive compulsive behavior keeps them going.  Like  the ever ready bunny your batteries will  run out some time and your  demise may not be by natural causes.



    I equate Ryan's  condition and those like him to the term,  "emotional vampires". They drain those around them yet continue to   "suck up" all their hurt, anger and bitterness.  Remaining in isolation,  misery and fear they  prefer to self medicate rather then face their  pain.  It is God's love and Holy Spirit  power that can change a life of  sorrow, pain  and remorse into forgiveness, happiness, hope, joy, peace  and love. Ephesians   3:16-29,  “I pray that out of His  glorious  riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your   inner being, (17)  so that Christ  may  dwell in your hearts through faith. And  I pray that you, being  rooted and established in love, (18)  may have power, together with all  the saints,  to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of  Christ,   (19)   and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be  filled to  the measure of all the fullness of God. (20)   Now to Him who  is able to do more than all we ask or imagine, according  to His power  that is at work within us.“ 



THE  ADDICTIVE NEED FOR POWER AND CONTROL


I am also  reminded of the horrific memory of seeing my only  brother lay in a hospital bed  dying after being steamed alive in an  industrial accident. His death was caused by the greed of another   persons addictive need for power, control, achievement and personal  gain, and a  company that failed to follow safety regulations.  The pain  in the eyes of my parents faces when  loosing their only son is forever  traced in my memory (reference story: “Died  on the Fourth of July”) - www.synthiaestherministries.com.  My deceased  brother left a widow and four young children behind.  When I  read in my research that loosing a  parent triggers some young children  vulnerable to the addiction process, I  thought of my brothers  children.  



I  recall the early death of my first cousin who  destroyed his  body with addiction to alcohol.   He never knew his father, who died a  tragic death much like that of my  brother while in military service.   He  also never received the love and acceptance he needed from his   step-father.  When my brother died he  called me and told me of his  personal grief and need deprivation of growing up  without his father.




TARGETED INDIVIDUALS - TECHNOLOGY PSYOPS CRIME: "TECHCHRONICITY CONTROL OF ELECTRONIC EARTH" - WWW.SYNTHIAESTHERMINISTRIES.ORG.


_________________________



Mind Warfare - psychological crimes now effect humanity and all life on earth.  By way of technologies beyond the pale,(V2K - voice of god technology, direct energy weapons, Ai - cloud computing coupling, to name a few),  we face yet another stronghold placed upon the world at large.  Yet, much like human sexual trafficking, these crimes have remained in the underground criminal network, unknown to most, including many innocent "targeted individuals" (TI's), who are victims.  



PEACE ON EARTH,  GOOD WILL TOWARDS MEN - HAS BECOME A LOST CONCEPT TO A LOST WORLD IN NEED


Our behavior not  only effects others it literally effects the  world in which we live.  We as humans are all interconnected no matter  race, color or creed. Our skin color describes us, it does not define us.  Change begins  with each and everyone of us.  As we expose the crime, and expose the perpatrators, we help to restore God's peace on earth!



“LIKE A FINGER PRINT IN TIME,  WE EACH HOLD A PART OF THE WORLD'S SPIRITUAL HEALTH”


What we do or don't do in our lifetime matters and what we  do with  our life spiritually is who we truly are.  We each decide to shine  God's light or impart  Satan's darkness upon the world by our own  thoughts, deeds and actions. Like a finger print in time we each hold a   part of the world's spiritual health.  So  it is with that gained  knowledge that I once again toss my pebble across the  sea of humanity  knowing the ripple will extend beyond my life time.  What do I hope it  will impart?  The message written to all God's children in  Micah 6:8,   “What does the Lord require  of you?  To act justly and to love mercy   and to walk humbly with your God.”


DEDICATION


May my actions  prove that as time goes by, the decisions I have  made with compassion, grace  and mercy provide a glimpse to the world of  Christ's love.  It is an inner witness that God enables many  to leave the ones they love knowing with positive assurance that Christ  himself  will continue to call them home to his bosom where all love  originates.  


This web site is dedicated to all lost souls  who are  spiritually searching throughout when the answers to peace, joy and  contentment  lie within the pages  of  God's word, the  Holy Bible.  You  can read more about "Synthia Esther Ministries" outreach by visiting  one of our many websites.  


Synthia Esther Ministry websites include, but are not limited to:


www.synthiaestherministries.org

www.synthiaestherministries.com,  www.sexhisway.com,  www.xxxhisway.com, www.synthiasex.com, www.powersexxxx.com,  www.concernedsingleamericans.com, and our popular testimony and witness  website, www.sacredpursuit.com - all about God's mercy, grace, and love,  www.sacredpursuit.org - all about the occult, New Age, 11:11, and other  metaphysical - esoteric deceptions, www.synthiaesther.net - Prayer  outreach website. 



* Please note: 


Due to vast hacking problems, and crime infractions on social media, we no longer make use of these types of ministry platforms and outreach.



Frequent Questions and Answers

 

By Synthia Esther



IN  YOUR OPINION, “HOW MANY CATHARTIC EVENTS DOES IT  TAKE IN A PERSON'S  LIFE BEFORE THEY DESIRE A DRASTIC CHANGE OF FOCUS AND  SPIRITUAL  INTENTION?”



I personally  believe the answer to that question God only knows.   But I do know this, “The Lord upholds all  those who fall and lifts up  all who are bowed down” (Psalm 145:14). I have now had four emotionally  charged,  profound events in my life that produced drastic cathartic  change.  The first cathartic event in my life God  hasn't given me a  spiritual release to discuss.  However, many have tried to guess in the past, assuming I came out of the sex industry.   Which is not the case.  This first event pertained to a personal family matter, that has long since been resolved.  


The second event in my life that produced a drastic change within my spirit, was my brothers tragic death (reference story,” Died On The Fourth Of July”).   My brother's death taught me  life is too short to live in abuse, emotional rape, misery, sorrow and  regret, and to always be true to your souls spiritual growth by  not  sacrificing your inner peace for  security.  God does not condone abuse!



Shortly after my  brother died I proceeded with a divorce from an  emotionally and physically  abusive ex-husband who used  deception,   manipulation, power and control to his vindictive advantage. Divorce  proved to incur a different set of  problems as I faced “Parental  Alienation” and   financial difficulties.  Despite  on-going  difficulties, ridding myself of the once nurtured “victim mentality”   has proved to be the greatest self-discovery of personal strength and  happiness  I have ever made. 

At the end of  our journey on earth we alone are  held  responsible  for our actions and choices in life.  My affirmative action also speaks  volumes to  all those whom my life comes in contact with, declaring  willful abuse is not to  be tolerated under any circumstances and it is  not God's will or your cross to  carry for one individual to harm  another.


 

My brother's  tragic death produced a profound “awakening” within  my life.  It also prompted within my soul and spirit  the firm belief  that life truly is a gift from God.  What we do with that gift is  returned to  God  the generous and gracious giver, in  loving thanks for  His mercy, grace and love.   God in His faithful sovereignty can change  your life from remaining a  “victim” to becoming a  “victor”!      



THIRD EVENT - PAST RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ON THE  DOWN LOW SEX ADDICT 


Ryan was a war hero, professed Christian by day, and a sex addict by night.  His on the down low double life lead me straight into the ministry field, called by God.   As a result I have counseled and helped many former sex industry workers get out of the business. 


Ryan taught me  that a child's soul is influenced for life, for  better or worst, by the parents  who raised him.  Family dysfunction   remains intact until someone has the courage and spiritual strength to  change  it.  In Ryan's case, his emotional pain  and sorrow was caused  by his parents lack of   acknowledged and demonstrated love, affirmation  and positive  attention. Ryan suffers from childhood  attachment bonds  only God can heal.  In turn, he continues to allow his past to dictate  his future.  His smile is the mask that  hides his hate, resentment,  bitterness, and anger.



Due to  experiencing Ryan's emotional struggle with sexual  addiction, and his  psychological fear of abandonment and intimacy, I  realized that “we are the sum  total of our circumstances and  experiences in life (motives), unless we realize  the spiritual  significance behind the sum total of our life circumstances and   experiences (growth)”.  These were my  sentiments when writing the God  inspired short story, “My Sacred Journey Home”  as well as the article  “The Secret Law  Of Attraction – A False Reality Of A Conceptual Manner” at: (www.synthiaestherministries.com). 


As Christians we know that in all things  God works for the good of  those who love him, who have been called according to  His purpose  (Romans 8:28).        


TARGETED INDIVIDUAL - MY FOURTH CATASTROPHIC - LIFE CHANGING EVENT


Most recently, (2009), I found myself living in a strange technological nightmare of sorts.  Which upon investigative research and years of discovery, I came to realize I was a "Targeted Individual" (TI).   When first attacked by these weapons beyond the pale, I believed them to be spiritual in nature, (Satanic attacks) much like demonic oppression.   Which they are most definitely not!  I am presently writing a book about these tech crimes and my (but by the grace of God), ultimate endurance and survival.  I have interviewed other TI victims, who have also experienced, and described these surveillance -  technological weapons beyond the pale.   My TI experiences (once again, called by God), lead me to develop the very website you are now reading - www.synthiaestherministries.org. -  "Techchronicity".   Techchronicity is a word I coined in 2018,  to best describe the synchronization of these crimes.  


Occultist Carl Jung defined synchronicity (having to do with the spiritual realm), and various acausal experiences.  Jung was in contact with the demonic, fallen angel realm.  Techchronicity, is the synchronization of time and events, produced by man made, and caused, technical means.  Present day technology and science is far more advanced than most people can image, or dream to know.  




 DON'T ALLOW YOUR PAST TO DICTATE YOUR FUTURE!

          WE HAVE TWO CHOICES IN LIFE: “TO DEAL”   OR  “TO DWELL”


  

 We can allow our  past to control and dictate our future or we can  learn from our past and allow  it to refine us.  Our personal choices in   life determine our trials and our triumphs.   Those who have gone  through the trial triumphantly, are often better  able to empathize with  those who are in the midst of a trial.  It is my prayer that humanity  will see the  harm of their self-imposed actions when contributing to  the negativity and evil  within the world.  Abortion is murder,  and if  you don't think it is a baby than your not pregnant! Addiction, abuse   and crime go together.   

  

 CO-DEPENDENCY,  A NEGATIVE COPING  SKILL           


        Addiction and  tolerance of abuse and dysfunction depletes the  soul and spirit of a person,  depriving them of spiritual growth and  maturity. If you are a co-dependency addict,  allowing such negative  coping skills within  your life and using them yourself, feeds those  around you (including your  children), with positive affirmation that  they work. Thus, you are not only hurting yourself, you  are depriving  the people  you love and  care for the opportunity to grow past  self-limiting coping skills and  achievement of their spiritual  destiny!   One cannot separate the action from the cause, and no one  except God can  complete you.

As a result of  having been involved with Ryan, I am now a sexual  ethicist, not against sex at  all, in fact I love sex the way God  created it to be. Sexual relations outside of  the love and ordinances  of God  is harmful to ones sense of wholeness,  spiritual growth,  development, divine intimacy, and loving expression.  Sexual intimacy  the way God intended it to be  is Holy, God  inspired (he created sex),   and ordained.  The closer I have gotten  to God and His word of truth,  the Bible, the more empowered, intuitive and  spiritually creative I  have become in all areas of my life, including my writing. 


“WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE PEOPLE WHO HAVE GONE THROUGH  A TROUBLING CHILDHOOD, OR AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?”


Forgiveness is  the key to inner healing (reference article, “Forgiving Their  Trespasses”) at: www.synthiaestherministries.com. 


Ephesians 4:32,  “Be kind and compassionate to one another,  forgiving each other, just as in Christ  God   forgave you.” Whoever does not  love does not know God, because  God is love   (1st John 4:8).   Forgiveness allows you to move forward  in life with the firm resolve of  not committing the same harm against  another.   Forgiveness is a positive spiritual solution to a negative   situation.  In order for history to not  repeat itself you have to  change the course of history. Forgiveness does not mean the person that   harmed you has to be a part of your life, on the contrary, it releases  the  negative control they may still maintain on your life!


Colossians  3:12-15,  “Therefore, as God's chosen  people, Holy and  dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness,  humility,  gentleness and patience.   (13)  Bear with each other and  forgive  whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the  Lord forgave you.  (14)   And over all these virtues put on love, which  binds them all together in  perfect unity. (15)  Let the peace of  Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to  peace.  And be thankful.”    


“WHAT MOTIVATED YOU TO PROVIDE ALL YOU HAVE WRITTEN,  SAID, AND DONE FOR FREE?”



When I was  searching for answers on the Internet pertaining to  “pornography and sex  addiction”, and the physical and psychological  manifestations I witnessed Ryan  going through, I found every single  Internet source was a gimmick for financial  advancement.  There were  professional  counselors offering seminars, retreats, and services for  hire.  Books to buy, guide and work books to follow,  classes to attend,  CD's and DVD's to purchase, including those that included  subliminal  affirmations.  I found new  age/hypnosis transformation tools with  development keys to unlocking the  conscious, unconscious, or  sub-conscious mind.  


   While some of these tools may  be extremely beneficial, (most  especially professional therapy), not everyone  can afford them.  It is  my personal  opinion, with out God's spiritual intervention and strength  no addiction  resource will work in the long term (Philippians 4:13).  Immediate “free” resources via the Internet,  with first hand examples,  stories and personal references, were often brief  testimonies at best,  with personal resolves limited in text, support and  guidance, unless  you purchased their product's. God 's Holy Spirit prompted me  to write  and provide for “free”, what I couldn't find readily available on the   Internet.  If anything I have said,  written, or conveyed has been  beneficial, thank-God for the source and  inspiration, for it is the  root that supports the tree, not the tree supporting  the root (Romans  11:18).

There are many free 12 step  programs marketed and available for  pornography and sex addicts,  however, I found the 12 step programs  (which  are usually aimed towards helping addicts and their families  with chemical  addiction's), inadequate in relation to sex addiction.   In the many personal interviews I have  conducted and letter's I have  received,   many sex addicts claim they usually like to go to  pornography and sex  addition self help support programs because they  get a sexual high (both  physically and psychologically), when they are  able to talk about sex!  


In fact, sex addicts talking  about their sexual experiences can  trigger other sex addicts to act out even  more.  An alcoholic can leave  their vodka  or beer at home, a sex addict carries their addiction  “release source” with  them, as it is part of their physical body.    There are also very few sexual addicts that have remained faithful in   their resolve to cease their acting out.   Their addiction to fantasy  and masturbation continues to anchor and fuel  the flames of their  sexual obsessions.   With world wide access to pornography on the  Internet, sex addictive  patterns of rape and crime continue to  escalate.


   _________________


"TECHCHRONICITY - WWW.SYNTHIAESTHERMINISTRIES.ORG



Once I became aware of the global electronic crime grid network, as a Targeted Individual, I was called by God to reach out in ministry in this much needed arena as well.  The truth about these "silent weapons for quiet wars" , will one day be revealed.  Until then, personal testimony by the thousands of TI's  who have now come forward, will help gain the awareness needed to expose these crimes and criminals.  As well as provide the much needed educational resources and support  other victims will benefit from.  Our Worlds spiritual, God inspired awakening is near, as we reach out to inform the world about these evil, mind controlling technologies and criminal crimes.  

 


JESUS  CHRIST CAN HELP YOU...    
 

Most all of these Internet  products, and/or person's offering such  help and advice were out to make money,  lots and lots of money.  At  one of my  lowest point's of grief someone was there offering a hand, a  way out, or they  were promising to rid my “ex” of his troubling sexual  addiction's, all for a  fee.  I have spent well over two thousand   dollars on sex and psychology related research books in search of  answers. The most informative books in my personal  opinion, are  referenced in my stories and/or articles.  



 I also met many, many, women  and men, who simply didn't have  the time to read  “all” the current research, nor could they  afford  expensive retreats and seminars promising to rid them or their spouse of   their sexual obsessive-compulsive or co-dependency addiction's.  An  addicts addiction rituals and  manifestations may subside for a while,  just like an illness can go into  remission.  But no one except Jesus  Christ  can help you “keep the addiction that binds you” dormant.  He alone is  your deliverer, your strength,  shield, and your fortress (Psalm  144:2)..


    “IT  HAS ALL BEEN DONE BY FAITH”            
 

The Holy Spirit is often  referred to in the Bible as the counselor  and/or helper (John 14:16-17), and it  is in that spirit of giving that  this free help has been provided.  You will not see adds or marketing on any "Synthia Esther" ministry websites. In short, it has all been done by faith.  Faith in  people, faith in service, and most  importantly, faith in God!



MY  PRAYER

  

It is my prayer  that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ,  the glorious Father, may give you the  Spirit of wisdom and revelation,  so that you may know Him better.  I pray also that the eyes of your  heart may  be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which  He has called you,  the riches of His glorious inheritance in the  saints, and his incomparably  great power for us who believe (Ephesians  1: 17-19).     


  

Died On The Fourth of July

 

By Synthia Esther



December 4, 2004 my parents celebrated their 50th  wedding  anniversary renewing their vows in the church they founded in  1988.  Watching the service that afternoon, I felt a deep sense of  gratitude  for the example of Christs love and faithful sovereignty that  their  lives together exemplified. I found myself reminiscing of their  past.  My father, his sister and brother never knew the kind of love  they so  freely give. They were very young children when their parents  divorced  and gave them-up to be raised by their elderly grand-parents  on a rural  farm in Alabama during the depression. Work was hard and  school at  times a luxury. Seldom were they shown outward affection or  told the  words, "I love you", yet they grew up thankful and not bitter  that  they were raised by family and taught by example the principals of   honesty and hard work.



Mother grew up in New York with a twin sister, as well  as nine  other siblings. Life was filled with love, nurtured and taught  by  parents who demonstrated a steadfast belief in God despite sometimes   painful circumstances. The death of two of their children and the   effects of Scarlett fever leaving one of their daughters disabled never   wavered their faith. They boldly proclaimed the gospel of Jesus Christ  as missionaries, pioneering many Churches. 



When  the young man from Alabama met the beautiful young lady from  New York,  love grew, sparks flew, they married and became the proud  parents of  my brother and I. "But as for me and my house we will serve  the lord,"  sums up best how our family lived. I married, had two sons  and moved to  Atlanta,Georgia. My life was filled with activity to avoid  the  realities of an abusive, deceptive and addictive prone alcoholic   husband. I was angry and bitter about my circumstances. My brother was   happily married to a wife he loved and cherished. They had three sons   and at last a long awaited daughter.


July 3rd,1994 our lives changed suddenly and  drastically. I  remember as if it were only yesterday. My aunt  telephoned me as I was  preparing dinner. She spoke slowly, her words  few..."Gene has been in  an accident at work, he's badly burned...they  are flying him by  emergency helicopter to Birmingham's Trauma Center  Hospital. They do  not expect him to live." We drove immediately to  Birmingham. Arriving  at the hospital I walked in a trance like state to  the room where my  brother lay. Long off white divider room curtains  were left partially  opened. I approached his bed scarcely  recognizing  his swollen, grossly distorted face and body. He suffered  internal  steam burns in over 85 percent of his body. He literally had  been  cooked alive. His wife sat in shock, motionless by his bedside  while  doctors watched her vital signs. Monitors hooked up to my  brother's  body beeped in steady rhythm as if on cue, his strong young  heart still  beating. I bowed my head in disbelief, starring lifelessly  as I watched  his blood drip from white towels stuffed between his bed  mattress and  metal guard rails, onto the tile floor forming small  puddles of blood. 



My parents arrived with more wails of crying like a  wave of grief.  I held my mother who had collapsed into my arms like a  baby clinging to  his mother. I heard my father whispering prayers to  God over his  unconscious dying son. Grief permeated the room like  nothing I have  ever experienced in my entire life. The atmospheric  pressure so heavy  it felt like added weight upon your body. I knew I  was watching death  and its process. Brother died July 4th,1994, in what  many would say was  the prime of his life. That night I saw and heard  fireworks in the  distant sky and felt Satan was celebrating. 


Distraught  and in sorrow I  cried," Why God? Why? I am the one with the bad  marriage. I am the one  who has felt like dying my life is so messed up!  It doesn't seem fair.  Why didn't you take me instead? I just do not  understand. Sometime  latter, I remembered my mother saying in tears,  "As hard as it is to  lose my son I am glad it was him and not you. He  is at peace and ready  to meet God, I do not know if you would have  been." My family speak  their mind and tell it like it is, but her  honest words pierced my  heart for I knew she was right.



It rained the day of the funeral. The rain felt like  tears from  heaven and seemed to match the tears that ran down our  faces. What good  is it for a man to gain the whole world yet forfeit  his soul, is etched  in stone on brother's grave side plac. Even unto  death his spiritual  witness speaks. 



Brother worked for one of the  largest companies in the  world. It is ironic his death was caused by a  new company supervisor,  who trying to impress management made a call  against safety precautions  in an effort to show more profit under his  leadership. An investigation  by Osha ensued with the company being  fined for close to 20 safety  precautions of negligence. Like a lot of  situations in life, power and  greed were at the core of company  leadership and responsibility,  instead of law, safety and the sanctity  of human life. 

My parents never questioned God's sovereignty, grace or  mercy.  They thanked God for their son and the years they were blessed  by his  life and his presence. 


Ecclesiastes 7:1, "A good name is better  than  fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth."  


They  also freely forgave the wrongs that caused their son's death. My   parents attitude and witness epitomized Psalm 46, "God is our refuge   and strength, a very present help in trouble". Instead of asking God   why, they asked only when? Like the hymn we sang together as a family   sitting on hard wooden pews in the church we attended..."When we all   get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing it will be, when we all see   Jesus we'll sing and shout the victory"! * Their faith in Christ  spoke  of victory in Jesus, the sacrificial lamb who shed his blood on  the  cross of Calvary defeating sin and death by his resurrection on the  third day.


We as Christians have eternal life as his promise and  the  reassurance we will see our spiritually saved loved ones who have   passed once again. We live in a fallen world. Our lives on earth are   not free from trials and tribulation. The Tsunami tragedy in Southeast   Asia, the Katrina hurricane in Louisiana, victims of the present war in  Iraq, a collapsed bridge in Minneapolis, Mn (Aug. 2007), miners (Oct.   2003),  in Shakhty, Russia who were flooded by water in Russia's Rostov   Region, coal miners trapped in Utah, United States (Aug. 2007), 9/11 - World Trade Center disaster, are  just a few of the many tragedy's claiming innocent lives. 


Some may ask,   "Where were you God when I needed you? Where were you when my child lay   dying?" I feel his reply would be, at the same place I was when my son   was dying. God has always had His hearts eye on earth and its  occupants  for we are his children. He never leaves us or forsakes us  and in  loving patience waits for our acceptance. Then he continues to  nurture  us in the finishing school of life, which last from the birth  cradle to  the grave drawing us ever closer. Our spiritual faith in  painful  circumstances brings us the growth and maturity necessary to  develop a  walk towards Christ's fullness of spirit.



Through my life's journey, armed with the power of the  Holy Spirit  and the anointed word of God, I too have learned from my  trials and  tribulations. Now happily divorced, I have come to realize a  simple  faith like that of my parents, "God is my refuge and strength, a  very  present help in trouble." He makes my crooked paths straight and   ordains my victory (Proverbs 3:5-6). Victory over worry, pain,   suffering, strife, hardship, disabilities, ailing heath, depression,   poverty, debt, abuse, torture, addictions, and yes... even over death.   With a heart of thanksgiving and praise, I celebrate my victories. I   know my God is coming soon, reigning as King of kings and Lord of   lords. With confident assurance, I too now ask.... "When God? When?"



  • When we all get to Heaven,  By: Mrs. J. G. Wilson.